Saturday, November 17, 2007

Last Thanksgiving

November of 2006 was the last time that our family was all together. It's funny- whenever I would go home to visit I was always running around from here to there trying to see all my friends and go out. That weekend Jason and I stayed close to home the whole time. We had lots of walks at ayr mount w/ dad, mom and I had our shopping trips to wal-mart and the dollar tree :) And one night we looked at their photo album from the three week vacation that they had just taken. Mom told us all about how much the hotel rooms were...... all the great (and not so great) meals they had, and the perfect trip to up mount washington at peak colors.
And Ivan took Jason and me to his girlfriends house- where he had spent a lot of time. Showed us the heart that he hung 50ft high on a tree outside her bedroom window, showed us the platform he built in a field to hang out at, and just was showing us around. It was fun.

I'm thankful for that weekend- for the time that we all spent together.

As the holidays approach I am scared- scared of all the feelings that will flood back, and the constant reminder of Christmas Day and the accident. I feel like I'm at a different place in my grieving process. It is getting harder, not only b/c of the holidays, but it is becoming more of a reality- that they really died. Crazy!

I can't stand people asking if I'm ready for the holidays, and if I'll see my family. For people who don't know me well, it's hard to smile and say great, fine- but I know I can't go into detail about why my answers may be short.

Anyway, I'm praying for good days ahead- for wonderful reminders of my family- and how I can share the love that I've recieved from them and pass it along to others.

Here are a few photos from last Thanksgiving in Hillsborough :)


Di said...

Aww... Ivan sounds like a sweetheart - hanging a heart for his girlfriend to see out of her bedroom window! I can't imagine the range of emotions that you will be experiencing of the next few months... please know that if you need someone to talk to or just hang out with, Lily and I are available!

I would love to hang out this week and Tuesday sounds great... I will call you tomorrow :)

Kim and Keith said...

I can't begin to understand what that's like... just know you are in Keith and I's thoughts and prayers! Great seeing you and Jason on Friday at the Golden globes!